Week #40 5B

The Breakdown 

As the city erupted in sirens, screaming and falling buildings, everyone rushed grabbing what they could and fleeing the city. Cars useless, the earthquake becoming worse by the second. People searching for shelter as everyone knew we were doomed whilst they heard the sound of the bridge falling! Everyone went to a boat begging the owners to take them. Luckily for me, I owned one. I saw the crowd of people begging for me to let them on as the last boat and I left the harbour. Halfway out and then the whole city had fallen, nothing left but rubble… next time I will help.

– Adam 

3 thoughts on “Week #40 5B”

  1. Great job Adam. I really like how you connected to an earthquake. I though that was a big risk as we don’t experience many at all in Australia so we don’t have that deep experience other counters do.
    Maybe next time you could try to put a few more words at the end of the phrase to put a bit more context into it.

  2. Hi Adam!

    This was quite a haunting story. The descriptions of the destruction were really intense, and I’d imagine the narrator would regret not helping a lot.

    My favourite line was “Cars useless, the earthquake becoming worse by the second.” I thought the fragmentation worked to show the desperation of the crowds.

    Great work on this and keep writing!

  3. Hello Adam,

    You have described the atmosphere of an earthquake quite well. Ending the story with the narrator hoping to be a better human is encouraging.
    Keep writing, Adam.

Comments are closed.