Week #47

Here we go. I am off to the lazy luxurious lake. I have always wanted to go but one little thing that concerns me is that the lake’s water is as frozen as Antarctica. But I had to face my fear. Let’s go. As I arrived I took off my striped velcro life jacket, with excitement and fear at the same time. The jump was gnarly until I felt a rubber object skim my foot. In fear, I screamed like a baby and ran as fast as I could into my car, scared for my terrible life.

– Paul

I was so excited… It was my first time swimming in the lake. Mama told me stories that you can’t stay underwater for too long because the eels would crawl into your ears and electrocute you from the inside. I never believed it but I’m still nervous. I stood at the edge of the wooden deck slipping on my striped, rubber suit. Once the costume was gripped onto my skin, I started to sway my arms back and forth to jump. “Three, two, one, GO,” I bombed into the water sinking to the sandy bottom. I looked up above me and paddled back up. I bumped my head on frozen ice and no one came to help. All that was left off me was my body sinking to the bottom…

– Angelique

I placed my rubber ducky on a tree although it felt like plastic,  and dived down deep into the water. My striped flippers waved around as I kicked harder to go faster. I don’t  know if I should be excited or not because what happens if it kills me before I get a chance to see it? I keep swimming deeper, when finally, don’t ask how I know, but I can just feel that I am close. I got closer and got the shock of a lifetime to see what was finally there. There, frozen, at the bottom of the ocean…

– Paloma

4 thoughts on “Week #47”

  1. Good job everyone!
    Paul, I loved how you used lots of descriptive language. It was a great example of show not tell.
    Angelique, I want to see a part two of this! It was an amazing cliff hanger! It made me think. And that is what you want your reader to think.
    Paloma, your perspective of the thing you saw made me think: is this safe what she was looking at? It was an amazing way to question the reader
    Overall, well done everyone! You should all be proud of the work you have done!

  2. Kia ora Paul.
    I just love your writing – what is the thing? You created some good anticipation with the language that you have used, and your really varied sentence structure. Well done!
    If you get a chance, come along to my class blog at: https://rakau19.edublogs.org/
    Keep up the awesome writing!
    Ms M #100WC

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